dark winters wear you down, up again to see the dawn

Ah, vacation. There are few things better than getting out of the city and escaping to places where the water is that surreal shade of blue and everyone waves hello. I had the pleasure of heading out of town, and have the sun burn to prove it! And when I got back, I think I finally realized it was summer. It wasn't until I headed to the first Seaport show that it hit me.


For the past few years, summer has always been a time where I've tried to spend as much time outside at free concerts. It's pretty remarkable how many shows are open to the public in this city, and I do not want to take it for granted! From the Pool Parties to the Seaport, and everything in between, there's nothing better than having a cool drink in your hand while checking out some great tunes. I'm particularly thankful this summer, as I've been a bit out of the loop with all these cool new bands that now I'll have a bit of a crash course into what I'm missing.

Tonight I'm heading to the Seaport for the Pains of Being Pure At Heart. Diggin' this band and excited to see them live. Come on down and help me celebrate this beautiful weather and summer in the city!

The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart - Come Saturday[mp3]

The Pains OF Being Pure At Heart - Everything With You [mp3]

The More I See The Less I Know...

Yesterday was one of those strange days where everything seemed a little off. I was late for work for the first time in years (I'm one of those rare breeds, a morning person) and from then on in I just didn't feel right. Life has been a bit busy lately, as I've started taking classes two days a week after work in web design. In retrospect, I probably should have picked a different semester other than the summer to try and tackle on all these things, as every other day it seems like someones having a baby, getting married, or making some other large life decision that warrants a celebration.

As soon as I made it home last night, all I wanted to do was throw on comfortable clothes, pour myself a huge glass of water (I was thirsty, ok?) and veg out on the couch. I finally watched this week's season finale of Weeds and by the episodes end I was off my feet dancing around like a chicken with its head cut off (luckily Pat was out so he didn't have to witness this moment). Why, you ask? Well the episode ended with this fabulous "dance" number with a song called "Say Hey (I Love You". Since then, I haven't been able to stop listening.

Check out the video of the scene here.

However, the point of this post (sometimes I find one) is that I am djing tomorrow night for the first time in what seems like forever and I'll probably play that awesome tune above (see the correlation?) The night is to celebrate the release of second EP Restaurant Airport. I caught the boys last month for the 1st EP party (there will be 3 in this series) and it was surreal to see how they've transitioned over the years. Their new work is really something to get excited about, and judging from the turnout last month, I think tomorrow is going to be a pretty crazy night.

More details on the event can be found here and make sure you download Restaurant Airport (FOR FREE) before coming out to the show.

DOWNLOAD: Restaurant Airport

See you tomorrow!

The air is feeling good to me, just as cool and ripe as air can be

I can't remember the last time I saw Jukebox The Ghost. I have a feeling it could have been exactly this time last year, when I offered to do merch for the funny little trio when they opened up for the Wombats. Okay, so it wasn't exactly a year ago but it was pretty darn close.

I had just turned 24 and was unemployed. I didn't have the greatest of greatest birthdays, in fact I turned into that rare form of myself when I drink to calm nerves or anxiety and I can't seem to shut my mouth. Or refrain from yelling at strangers who just wanted to play foosball. Either way, I remember heading to the show a bit down in the dumps and by the end of the night there was a faint smile on my face. There are a few bands that can evoke that reaction, and Jukebox the Ghost is most definitely one of them.

(However, now I realize that wasn't the last time I saw them, but for the purpose of this blog post I'll continue.)

So I remember the band wishing me Happy Birthday. They may have even sung, but my memory is failing me quite a bit. And less than a week later, I landed a great job that I'm still at now. Am I saying Jukebox the Ghost is magical? Absolutely.

Come see the magic tonight at Bowery Ballroom. Yes, those boys who I called my new favorite band all the way back in 2007 have hit the big time. Hope to see you there!!

I Know Which Way To Run

As soon as I wrote that post yesterday I wanted to delete it, but I suppose that would go against everything I wrote. I'm a bit out of practice I suppose.

I've found myself oddly addicted to this solitaire game on my iPhone. When I say oddly addicted, I really mean that it's an unhealthy obsession. I can't seem to go more than a few hours without playing this Pyramid game, where you have to match each card with its opposite (Queens with Aces, Jacks with 2's, 10's with 3's and so on). It's all very therapeutic, I suppose, matching everything up it's in right place until they are all gone could be some inane metaphor for my life.

In other news, I'm attending what could be classified as my most anticipated show of 2009: Antlers/Cymbals Eat Guitars/White Rabbits at Bowery Ballroom. Have you heard the White Rabbit's new album, It's Frightening? It's calling out for a horrible pun in that it's frightening how much I love it.

This is probably why I stopped blogging.

Watch this instead:

The Burning City Smoking

So most days I can't put to rest the burning city smoking in my mind
And I play pretend the principals are nothing more than actors running lines
And I stumble through a movie set where torture victims laugh
An abandoned journalist who juggled knives and daggered glass
While they entertain the marble Heads of State and CEO's
Oh whoa oh woh
I stagger past anarchist extras through saloon doors painted gold

I attended this panel recently about publishing and I remember someone saying, "If you love to write you'll find a way to do it." That line lingered in my mind for a few days, as I thought about coming to this page, or any blank page, to try and form some thoughts. I wrote posts in my minds, found lines from songs and subway stations that I found interesting, but not enough to sit and write them down. It's funny. There was a time not too long ago when you couldn't tear me away. It defined me. It was what I aspired to, longed to do, and when I got it, I no longer wanted to do it anymore.

I had struggled to find the point where it all just stopped. I now blame the fact that I finally started writing professionally, in a profession that I dreamed about for years. It was there that this act of expressing thoughts in words no longer appealed to me. I was writing about things I didn't know or didn't love, and felt like I was never good enough or would ever be. I know I'll look back last year as as a major turning point. My life was dismantled, this dream job wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and everything I knew to be true was dispelled. So I changed courses, moved out of the city, and found a new job. One year later, I am starting to feel the urge to return to writing, for the right reasons.

Walking through Manhattan these days is more than a scrapbook of memories. I've tried to take time now to look around me instead of rushing from place to place, remembering the late nights, the apartments, the roommates, the gigs, the bands, the shows, the streets, the bars, the friends -- all these things that have affected me, for better or for worse.

I almost prefer that no one really reads this blog so much anymore. It makes it easier for these self-deprecating posts. There have been little signs in the past few months that reminded me of just how far I've come, of the years that are now adding up, and the back and forth of every day life. I'm not quite sure if there was a point to all of this, or to any of that, but it's nice to have the space, even platform, to work it all out.

So that's that. I'm still listening to the exact same bands I was listening to a year ago. There's plenty of other more informative, and definitely entertaining out there. But I can't deny that I once was, or always will be, a writer. So every writer needs their page and this one happens to be mine.

Don't Look At Me Like Another Lost Soul

And if all of our lives turn out to be lies
Then I'll go back home
To the people that knew me
Before I was old and grown...

I toyed with the idea of writing a year-end list. I scoffed at even attempting to make a list of 10 albums (I think I've listened to a total of 3 on repeat this year) and yet did end up coming up with a list of songs. The songs, however, are nothing interesting or unique. What is, however, is what can happen in the span of one year. I saw my life dissected, judged, with too many ups and downs to count. And while I finally learned how to make myself feel somewhat normal, all that was normal to me growing up quickly disappeared.

2008 started with some very major decisions. First up? Quit smoking. I'm proud to say that I have stuck with that new years resolution (probably the first) and couldn't even imagine sucking in smoke ever again. I was a heavy smoker for about seven years, and thanks to the strange sensation of a prescription drug (Chantix), I was able to kick the habit and still live with a smoker. I give myself a nice high-five for that. Once in a while, I think we all deserve a little praise.

The start of the year also saw a number of doctors appointments, swelled lips and hands, chronic hives, and the constant bewilderment of those claiming to be experts. I remember sitting in one allergists' office and after a long sigh while looking over my charts, he simply shrugged. "You're an enigma, Rachael," he said. That wasn't good enough for me.

It took almost half of the year to realize that I had had food allergies all along. If anyone had bothered to do a blood test, opposed to a skin test, they would have discovered that my allergy to wheat was the main culprit in my illness. It was utterly relieving, however frustrating to take on this new lifestyle. Constantly checking over ingrediants, and having special orders are probably things I"ll never get used to. I never wanted to be singled out of a crowd, and now, I'm feeling strange on a regular basis. Lucikly I'm finding ways to make this work for me so I can still retain my wallflower-ness.

As anyone who has read this blog for sometime knows, music was a huge part of my life -- and a huge part of my blog. In March, I decided to take a huge risk and quit my dream job, convincing myself that this was not the end of the road and there was something out there I still needed to achieve. And whilst I have not continued to write about the music I still listen to on this blog, I know that I'll eventually revist this crazy life I once lead -- if only to showcase that yes, I was once cool. But we all know that was always just a ruse.

I moved from Chelsea to Staten Island, I watched my once-happily married parents separate, I embraced my inner nerd, and stopped taking pictures at every show I attended. I'm not sorry to see 2008 go -- it was hard, long, and took a lot out of me. But there's one thing I did learn -- no matter how we identify ourselves, the real person exists inside. Through it all, I'm glad I never lost my sense of self, or my sometimes questionable thoughts.

In case you are curious, my number 1 song of the year is "Mistletoe" by Jukebox The Ghost [listen here]. It's just a demo, but hearing it live (and then begging for a demo version to listen to repeatedly) led to the following email to their lead singer Ben Thornewill.

....So anyways, the REAL reason I'm writing this is because I've acquired an unhealthy obsession to your song "Mistletoe." Seth sent me the demo a little while ago (I'm not sure if I was supposed to mention that, but oh well) and I'm pretty sure its the best song that you (and Tommy?) have written. It's fab. So I was wondering if you could do me a favor or sending me the lyrics? I just want to make sure I'm singing the right words when I'm freaking people out on the subway to work. Make sense?

Ben was nice enough to send them back with the following request:

now go freak people out on the subway

Somethings never change....

Thanksgiving 2008

Ten things Rachael is thankful for this year:

1. Barack Obama
2. guacamole
3. joining a book club
4. Pat
5. having a job...and liking it
6. The Cable Guy showing on HBO
7. gluten-free items now popping up in regular supermarkets
8. Amanda Peyser
9. the new Mason Proper album
10. Old Navy slippers...I live in them

Gluten-Free in Pittsburgh

I am in Pittsburgh for the weekend visiting my old roommate and was shocked upon heading to the grocery store and finding a whole gluten-free section! I bought the Cherrybrook Kitchen mini chocolate chip cookies, which I hadn't tried before, and turns out they are quite yummy. I'm glad to see the gluten-free products spreading throughout the country. In fact, October is Celiac Awareness month. More to come!

My Fall TV Report Card

I realized the other day that I watch a lot of TV. Whether it's on my way to and from work on my little iPhone screen, or on a Saturday morning catching up on the DVR, I basically watch the majority of scripted shows on television today. (I have tried to eliminate the majority of my reality TV, but cannot give up on Project Runway, Top Chef (when it returns in NEW YORK!!!), Intervention, or, ahem, The Hills (I know). So now that most shows are back in our living rooms (save 30 Rock til October, sigh) it's about time I give you my opinions on them. Because, let's face it -- there's a good chance I watch more TV than you and your friends....combined.

MONDAY

• Gossip Girl (A-): Is it just me, or does this show get better and better with each episode. Ever since Blair screamed "Oh my effing god," I knew this season has perfectly combined their clever media savviness with their guilty-pleasure drama. With Serena and Dan finally broken up, we can see Serena for who she truly is (well, anything but a whiner please) and the will-they-won't-they Chuck and Blair storyline is enough to keep me tuning back week after week.
• How I Met Your Mother (A): I'm so glad this show has finally gotten the publicity it deserves (even if we had to watch Britney Spear's stoic performance to get it). Barney's realization he's in love with Robin could have been forced, but NPH plays it off with such style that we can do nothing but cheer him on. This week's hamburger episode was a cute ode to New York, and even incorporated another silly guest star (Regis) in a great way. Please watch this show so it doesn't get canceled!
  
• Heroes (C+): Anything after last season was going to be a great improvement, and the two hour premiere's pace was definitely back Season 1's standard. With some silly story lines in the way (Suresh, ugh, Hiro, please) we're still getting some jampacked drama and comedy thanks to Sylar and Noah Bennett (even if this week's buddy cop drama was cheesy). I think the writers need to throw out the "Save the world" aspect of the show (it's been done...twice) and focus on the characters that we all know and love. Hey, even Nikki became interesting!
• Weeds (B+): I had my doubts at the start of the season. The move from Agrestic could only mean jump the shark terriority, right? Wrong. Instead we delved deep (and deeper) into border smuggling with Nancy taking a harsh and real look at her role as a mother, and a drug dealer, and how she can possibly still teach right and wrong. The last episode may have been a shocker, but I suspect Mrs. Botwin may just be saving her ass one more time. That girl is sneaky, and I love it.
• Intervention (A): This show has the power to ultimately make me cry and feel better about my life. What more could you ask for? This isn't your cookie cutter reality TV, this is heartbreaking and almost too real at times for me to digest. I've noticed that this season almost all of the subjects have come out on top in the end, even for the lowest of all lows (did you see the one with the girl sucking on the dust-off? Jeez.) I guess they know we're suckers for a happy ending.
• The Hills (C): I wish I could stop watching this show. I wish Heidi would break up with Spencer. I wish Heidi's mom would be on the show more. And I wish LC would stop thinking everyone in her life (because of this show) is out to get her. And that is why this show is so popular, because we care, even when absolutely nothing happens in the 30 minutes we watch it every week. I wish I could stop! Maybe I need an Intervention, heh, heh...get it.

TUESDAY

• House (B+): It's not easy keeping this show fresh. The writers knew this last season when they though throwing in a bunch of new characters would create a new game for our favorite TV Doctor. It did, and I found it quite successful (although fans are complaining about the lack of Cameron and the Australian guy). Last season's finale was one of the most interesting house on TV (other than on Lost) and so far this season we've seen House try and deal with the aftershock. The rumored Cuddy/House romance hopefully wont ruin this consistently interesting show (even if all patients do have seizures!)
• Fringe (B): I love me some J.J. Abrams. I've loved and obsessed about every show he's done and was not going to stop here. Sure, the story lines are ridiculous. But this is TV people. It's supposed to be ridiculous and entertaining. Combine that with the undeniable attraction of Pacey Witter (or whatever his name on this show is) and you have a pretty solid doubleheader from FOX. Keep up the pace, J.J.
• Greek (B): I started watching this show on reruns during the summer and it was easy to get caught up in the lives of this sorority and fraternity peeps. I never got to experience the Greek life at NYU, and probably wouldn't had I gone to some other school, but the dramedy and freshness of these story lines make for a fun show. This season we've seen Frannie move in on Evan Chambers (ugh), Cappie break up with Rebecca (yay!) and Casey get a new man. I quite like the new guy, even if he does cry, but I'm still holding out for a Cappie/Casey moment by season's end. Please? Pretty please?
• The Secret Life Of The American Teenager (D): I can't believe I watched this show.
• 90210 (F): Ditto on above. I gave up after one episode. I'd rather have my fond memories of the Peach Pit, thank you very much.
  

WEDNESDAY

• Project Runway (B+): I hate to admit that I liked Kenley at the beginning (I'm a sucker for that 50's retro look) and now she's the spawn of the devil. Only on reality TV can be begin to love and hate someone within the span of one season, with their combattive claws coming out for the love of fashion. While some of the challenges have been boring (Olympics, yawn) the drama and clothes have more than made up for it. My money is on Korto, although I'd be happy with Leanne or Jerell as well. Just get Kenley out of there, stat!
• Lipstick Jungle (B-): I just watched this entire first season last week (there were only 8 episode, ok?) in time to catch the season premiere. Frankly, this show is definitely not as bad as I originaly thought. There's clever writing and above decent acting, it's almost like a hour long version of Sex And The City without showing any of the sex (but they get pretty close). I give props to this season's premiere, showing a more realistic side of death, with Neko coming to grasp how to mourn a husband who was planning to leave. Now I hope she can have some fun with Kirby. And please don't let Andrew McCarthy go!

THURSDAY

• The Office (A): Man, I just love this show. From the smallest one-liners ("That wasn't a tape worm) to the big moments (holy crap Jim and Pam!) this show encompasses everything I love of TV. Characters I want to tune into week after week and that warm fuzzy feeling when Standley fist-pumps in the air. Even Andy got me teary-eyed. Here's to many more laughs, and many more episodes to come.
• Grey's Anatomy (C): I told myself that I was going to give up on this show. I'd had enough. The story lines kept recycling, Meredith kept whining, and the Office and 30 Rock should be the only show allowed during the 9 o'clock hour. And yet this morning I found myself downloading the two-hour premiere onto my iPhone and crying on the ferry to work. What is it with this show? Bernadette Peters in a fairy-costume and an icicle falling into Yang? Pul-eeze. But I must admit that I'm sorta glad that Mer and Der are finally together, and think that Lexie and George are cute. Sigh. We'll see about this one.
• It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia (A-): This show has definitely filled the void felt by the departure of Arrested Development. It's out-there comedy definitely brings on the laughs and the more ridiculous this show gets, the more daring and creative the writers seem to get. There just are no boundaries here, as we've already discussed canabolism in the first episode. It seems like the popularity of this show is growing, so hopefully FX will keep it on for a few more seasons. I'm a little bit scared, however, at how far they'll go!
  

SUNDAY

• Mad Men (A+): I was a bit late to the Mad Men train, having watched the entire first season this summer after hearing all the accolades. Well, they didn't lie. What is undoubetly one of the best new shows of the last few years, Mad Men sucks us into another world and time where we can't help but love to hate and hate to love the incredibly complex Don Draper. While the pace is slow, it does give us time to oogle over the costumes and sets and it's fantastic ability to intertwine real-life events with this fictional show. I'm so glad that Betty finally got a backbone this season, but I fear the result once Don decides he's either coming home or not. Such drama, and so classy.
  
• Dexter (B-): I declared this show my favorite show of 2007, and I'm glad to see that more of my friends have picked up on this amazing piece of work. However, I'm a bit skeptical on this season, thanks to the curve-ball ending that way too many TV shows are victim of. I found it interesting that the writers have now officially moved away from the books the series is based on, and the territory is now unknown. Here's hoping they don't screw this up.
  
• Entourage (B-): Last season was a snoozefest, but I've found myself remembering why I liked this show so much in the past. Sure, it's no surprise that Vinnie will have to work his way back up to the top (as does the show) but Drama's story line, and even E growing a pair of balls (kinda) has marked for a good time. And hey, Piven never disappoints so at least we have that!
  
• Brothers & Sisters (C): I watched the premiere of this season last night and was bored. This is one show that is victim of the series cancellation on my DVR, and frankly last night did nothing to convince me otherwise. We get it -- the family is disfunctional. Now let's move on and get some real story lines, okay? The prospect of yet another illegitamate Walker is not what I wanted.

(FYI: Shows that haven't yet premiered that I plan to watch: 30 Rock, Lost, 24, Pushing Daisies, Dirty Sexy Money)

So there we have it! What are you watching? Do you agree/disagree with my grades? Should I cancel Grey's, The Hills, or B&S? What should I be watching instead?

Out Dragging The River

Cause we're out dragging the river, trying to find something missing. But everyone we know is here and nothing that we have is gone...

There are five words I never thought I'd utter out of my mouth or on this blog: I live in Staten Island.

You see, before I met Pat, I never really thought anything of this borough. It never dawned on me to take the Staten Island Ferry, or that I'd one day be living there, in a house, with a car. Am I on my way to the white picket fence? Not exactly. But yet the only reactions I've received so far are either the obligatory: "so when are you guys getting married," or the more offensive, "Wow, you are so old." I cringe at the originality.

I am only 24. I don't think that I should be defined by my age, or that by moving out of the city and moving in with a guy that consistently makes me laugh should be anything of negative connotation. I'm sure one day I'll marry him, but I don't think that is going to be anytime soon. But it is to be noted that this is the only person that tells me I'm weird on a daily basis, and because of that, makes me smile.

I wish I could pinpoint the exact moment in which I decided I had to please everyone. It's funny, when I was a kid, I was so sure of myself that I was almost the class bitch -- the queen bee who would be friends with one person one day and then disregard them the next. It's amazing how that confidence and power can fade with time, as I now am constantly seeking everyone's approval, and frankly it's exhausting. Because I like going home after work, cooking dinner, and watching one of the million TV shows I'm currently addicted to. Sure, I like going out once in a while but gone are the days of 4 o'clock bar hops, random strangers, and wasted days. How I ever survived that lifestyle is beyond me, because looking back, I don't think I was happy.

Let's talk about something I do enjoy: driving. We took all of a savings and decided to lease a car, in spite of the crumbling economy and high gas prices. Sure, I no longer have the luxury of 24-hour bodegas at every corner, Whole Foods, or the millions of takeout options like I had living in the city, but now I can drive! I forgot how much fun it is to sing at the top of your lungs...I always get such strange looks on the subway when I do that.

Side note: the ultimate combination is, however, driving and smoking a cigarette (close second to a cup of coffee, of course). I do miss that.

In short, life changes, and it can change quickly but in this past year of all the mishaps and chaos that I've experienced, I always knew that it was me who was making those choices. Maybe the little queen bee is buzzing out of me again. Watch out.

Mason Proper's fantastic album Olly Oxen Free is now out on Dovecote Records. Buy it here, here, or here as soon as you possibly can. It's most definitely a contender for #1 album of the year.